The word “ANGER” itself is so strong it gets your eyebrows up and automatically there is a frowning face. Well we all are very well versed with the feeling of anger, burst out, shout, some even make faces, our tone gets high etc. This is how we express our anger. But I am increasingly worried about anger among kids for silly reasons. I would blame it to the problem of plenty. Our kids have everything and do not want to share or they need too much of our time because we are giving them a lot of attention. There should be some way out to handle it, I was thinking why our kids are getting angry and hyperactive so frequently. Have we ever thought that while our kids get angry their way of expressing is totally different?
First let us think about things that makes their temper climb sky, raise their blood levels and of course there never ending tears.
- Feeling of Insecurity: Most often insecurity may make kids angry or say hyper. They would shout scream to gain our attention. Why are they doing that? is it because we are not paying much attention to them? Or maybe there is entry of a new member (baby) in the family.
How do we tackle this feeling: It is very important that kids should feel a sense of connection with their parents. We can do that by spending at least one hour in a day with them. They should be constantly reminded that they are loved and cared. They are all precious to us and patiently listen to what makes them insecure.
- Sleep Deprivation: Shocked to see this one in the list, but yes it is true. When they don’t get proper sleep, they turn out to be very cranky. Kids don’t know how to express what they feel and how to react. So this in turn gets them angry and they shout or cry or do things which they ideally won’t do when they are in a good mood.
How do we get over this: We need to ensure that kids get proper sleep. There has to be a time table which needs to be followed however it never worked for me as my kids never follow them. But yes as a parent we have to ensure that they are not deprived of a good night sleep. It has a very good impact on their health as well as their overall well-being.
- Home Environment: Kids are very good observers. They learn from their surroundings. As a parent it is our duty that we control our anger in front of them. They learn what they see. We tend to lose our temper but we have to ensure that we don’t burst out in front of them, at times it is very difficult to control our emotions. However we need to be careful how we tackle the situation. If we are successful in tackling the situation trust me kids will learn to control their emotions and handle it tactfully.
- Aggression: Kids at times show a lot of aggression say for nothing. If certain things not done their way, they tend to revolt. At times kids go to an extreme of hitting someone. Well hitting or bashing is not a good sign. What cause the kid to go to an extreme level of physical assault? As a parent we need to understand the root cause.
How do we handle this: In a scenario, where our kid becomes very aggressive, it is very important that we understand the child’s behaviour. Rather than shouting or hitting our child we need to calm them down and ask what took them to such extreme level. We can ask them to do breathing exercise it really works and helps you to calm down.
In today’s busy and fast life the standard of living has increased which has led to both the parents working. Due to lack of time, we enroll our kids in different activities without asking their choice, or handover gadgets. But does these things replace parents, Answer is NO. I understand for everyone it’s a hectic day but spending some quality time with a kid is very important, it can be a board game, playing their favourite outdoor game or for that matter watching their favourite cartoon with them. It gives them a sense of belonging. Always listen to your child what they have to say. I always shared with my parents what I did the entire day and the same habit I have inculcated in my kids. Trust me kids enjoys this. Love your child and love yourself. Be silly at times, relive your childhood with your kid. It’s ok.
– Kinjal Nirav Shah